for you

You have an intriguing mind. You fascinate me in the most complex of ways. I have a difficult time understanding why you react to things in the way you do, because I don’t know you yet. But I will. I will learn everything about you, if you let me. Your past has been rough, and that is easy for me to see, but I know you have let it teach you. You have become a better man because of it. You are afraid to be emotional, but you are very in tune with how your mind works. You seem distant but are open when you are comfortable, and I like that.

You loved once. I knew that right away. You are closed off, but find yourself getting lost in joyful moments of the past when they arise. And then you notice. It hits you that you have let yourself be happy because of her again. And you shut off. You become more quiet and distant than you were before, because you don’t want to feel that way again. You know what comes next this time. In those moments, the joy was so overwhelming. But then came the pain. And it hurt. It hurt deeply. It hurt badly. It still hurts you. And now, when those moment of joy arise, you find yourself caught. Caught in the pain that follows. Caught in the fear of what will happen if you fall in love ever again. But you will. I know you will.

You are a bro. You have been your whole life. You sit there every day in a room full of guys and listen to them talk with their boyish humor. You look around and none of them seems to care that you are a girl and you don’t see things the way they do. And you actually feel relieved. You love the fact that you are their bro through and through. You want them to feel comfortable to be themselves around you. But that’s the problem. Because sometimes, you feel like they forget that you actually are a girl. You have emotions and feelings and the jokes they poke at you actually hurt sometimes. And you’re just supposed to get over it, because you’re a bro, and that’s what bros do. They just get over it, because it isn’t a big deal. But really, to you, it is. And I know that.

You see the world in ways unlike anyone else. You see beauty in the fallen snow and grace in the dirty watery slush that it produces in the spring. You believe the unseen can be seen, and you seek that out in a consistent fashion. You do not really feel the need to search for love, because there is love all around you. You know the way you should take, you know the right path for your life, you see everything right in front of you, and you reach for it with open hands. You grasp on to adventure and desire to see the world, because it holds more beauty for you than any Victoria’s Secret Angel ever could. You want to see the world, and I would go with you if I could.

You are intelligent. In fact, you could talk circles around me. You are not intelligent like most brainiacs would seem. You are soft. You are knowledgable. You are intrigued. You take in the world around you because you love to think deeply about it. You are a deep thinker. You are the first to provide a new perspective to any situation, because you look for the whole picture. You don’t see the surface, but rather the heart of every situation. Your whole being is surrounded by the desire to learn, because you always want to know what is going on. Your knowledge shines through your extensive vocabulary of colorful words, of which you search for that one word which most accurately describes the feeling you desire to portray. You are smart, smarter than me, and I could never thank you enough for teaching me the little things of life.

You have a beautiful soul. I don’t mean beautiful by the way most people see it. I mean every ounce of yourself is beautiful, in a simple sort of way. There is simplicity in the way you love your parents and run to your dog after a long day. There is beauty in how you snuggle up when you’re cold, first one leg then the other in an adorable fashion, pulling that tie fleece blanket up over yourself and tucking yourself in because you don’t need a man to do it for you, most nights. The way you laugh when you feel awkward and the way tears stream down your face because of the struggle your friend is facing. Those things are what makes you beautiful, inside and out. Thank you for letting me experience that first hand.

To the vulnerable, the humbled, the confident, the adored.

To the selfish, the broken, the needy, the hurting.

To the girl who is afraid to be high maintenance, to the boy who is immune to any sort of emotion, to the family who is struggling to make ends meet.

This one is for you.

Because you are loved. You are loved in the most desperate of ways. If you need to learn something today, if you want to know just one thing today, know that you are loved. You are intriguing, you are intelligent, you are beautiful, because God created you to be that way. You are loved.

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