Before Sunrise

It’s amazing all of the things I can think about before sunrise.

All of the things I need to be doing instead of staring at the time, watching it go by.

All of the reasons I hate having to be up at 5am. (Okay, so maybe closer to 5:30..)

All of the different artists I want to listen to on my commute to work — and choosing just a couple because my commute is only 14 minutes.

How much easier my life would be if I could just have twenty more minutes in bed.

And sometimes — just sometimes — I’ll think about you.

Life has been funny like that lately.

How even after all this time, it always comes back to you.

I used to say goodbye to you before sunrise.

Praise God I’ve finally said my last.

Live to the point of tears, right?

It’s funny, because I used to think about you all the time — a never-ending emotional abuse in my mind.

But now it’s 6:42am — on my day off — and I’m still thinking about you. You still cross my mind.

But I don’t want you anymore. I’m no longer slave to your words, no longer constantly vying for your attention. I don’t want it anymore.

I finally have what I deserve:

A warm flannel, a homemade almond chai latte, a kind friend, and some damn self respect.

I finally have what I deserve, and I didn’t find it from you.

I found it all before sunrise.

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