worth it all

i wish you knew
what you’re worth

that’s what he said to me

i wish you knew
what you’re worth

as if i don’t love myself enough
as if i haven’t had to put my big girl panties on
and deal with it
as if i don’t know what it means
to go through it alone
absolutely alone
as if i haven’t been living
in a world where
i can’t count on anyone
to check in on me even semi-regularly

as if i hadn’t already learned
that the best person to love me
will always be me
because i will always be there
when i fall

i breathe calmly
because i’m worth that
i sleep in
because i’m worth that
i stay at home
on a friday night
because i’m worth that

i’m worth all the
extra care
i’m worth all the
effort it takes to
cater to my triggers

i’m worth all the
gentleness needed to
ensure i feel safe
i’m worth the time
and the energy
and the intention
it takes to make sure
i’m still breathing
for one more day

and you’re worth that, too

you’re worth the extra care

you’re worth the extra long hugs
and the late night phone calls
and the hour long yoga sessions

you’re worth the glasses of wine
and the girls night outs
and the 9pm bedtimes

the FRIENDS marathons
and entire vegan cheesecakes
and that cute-but-spendy shirt you saw
in the boutique window downtown

you’re worth a healthy lifestyle change
no matter what anyone says about it
and the extra splurge to go to the gym you love
and the ticket to see your favorite musician

you’re worth every therapy session
and the date with the very nice man
that might not get a second
and all the puppy cuddles in the world

you’re worth all of the love
and peace
and joy
this wild, wild world
has to offer you

because what he did to you
will never take precedence
over who you are

you are deeply loved
the whole of you
and you are worth it all

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