a year of consistency

wake up early
motivated
feeling good
head to the office
go to the gym
cook a meal
make some tea
throw in laundry 
clean the kitchen
walk the dog
do some yoga
drink some more tea
go to bed early
set the alarm for early 
wake up early
press snooze
feeling tired
press snooze again
actually get up
forty five minutes late
let the dog out
pick up coffee
work today
drag through
take a nap
order pizza
eat in bed
watch friends
go to sleep

we have the
hardest time with
our days because
our days are 
never the same
we never 
feel the same

and we try our best
to be healthy
we want
to be heathy
motivated
productive
consistent

so we medicate ourselves
to be better
more productive
feel more
like ourselves
and we work out
and we eat healthy
because we know
those things help

except yesterday
i was too depressed
and today i am
too anxious
and sunday i had
way too much to do
that i just couldn’t
get to all of it

my last year
my last couple of years
has been so much of that
but i’m done with
being unmotivated
and i’m done
with excuses
and i’m done with
letting trauma
have its hold on me

because we can only be
as great of a person
as our habits make us
i think i heard that
somewhere
and i truly am
great and
lovely and
kind
even when i can’t
get out of bed today

but that person was made
by the days i do
get out of bed
the person i am is
made by the days i am
productive and
healthy and
motivated

so this year i am
going to get out of bed
even when i don’t want to

this year i am
creating routines that will
better the person i
already am to form the
person i want to be

this year i am
building a sustainable
life with sustainable
habits to make my
days more stable

this year will be
a year of consistency
with less ebbs and flows
and less excuses
and the same amount of
grace

because being intuitive
in the ways you
live your life means
getting up even when
you don’t feel like it
because you know that
you won’t regret it
for a second when
you’re settled into your day

it means moving your
body intuitively because
you know that even
though you’re tired
your body will be
so much more awake
when you’re finished

it means eating well
even when you’re
craving something shitty
because you’re
feeling shitty
because after you’ve
eaten something
good your body will
have more energy

consistency is
just showing up
for your higher self
day after day
because i truly
want to be better
and i want to be
consistent in that

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